PRE-SET
SCENE: ROYS OFFICE-NYC-AFTERNOON
ROY
Do you know what they're calling you
upstairs? They're calling you the next
John Grisham."
JACK
I don't want to be the next John Grisham.
ROY
Do you know how much money a writer like
John Grisham makes? Do you know how rich
Tom Clancy is? Danielle Steele is a
gazillionaire.
JACK
Five minutes ago I was John Grisham now
I'm Danielle Steele. Who do you want me
to be? I can't keep up with you.
ROY
Just don't be afraid of success that's
all I'm saying. Success is a wonderful,
wonderful thing. Here's your check. Say
something.
JACK
This a is a lot of money.
ROY
And it's only the beginning. You keep
writing best sellers and those checks
will start doubling and tripling.
Listen, I hate to rush out but I've got a
meeting across town in less than...
JACK
No, no it's fine.
ROY
And don't lose that check. Come on I'll
walk you to the corner.
And they both exit.
SCENE: THE BLUE ROSE
Dolores performs a number. Live.
SCENE: THE BLUE ROSE
SUZETTE
Good job?
DOLORES
Oh? Did you watch my number?
SUZETTE
No I heard it.
DOLORES
How could you hear it with all the
talking back here?
SUZETTE
No one was talking.
DOLORES
Someone was talking.
SUZETTE
Well I wasn't.
DOLORES
Well someone was talking.
SUZETTE
Oh please, as if we all just sit around
trying to sabotage your numbers.
DOLORES
Is it too much to ask that when I'm on
stage, working my ass off to have a
little peace and quiet back here. It's
like every time I'm on stage...
SUZETTE
See this is the problem with you...
DOLORES
Let me finish...
SUZETTE
No this is the problem with you.
DOLORES
I don't have a problem.
SUZETTE
No the problem with you and this has
always been your problem is that you
think your Barbra Streisand at Carnegie
Hall and you're not. You are an
entertaining distraction in a roach
infested drag bar called the Blue Rose.
They put us up there so the customers
won't notice how bad the drinks are. If
you would like to perform at Carnegie
Hall then you should go to Carnegie hall,
I'm sure they would love to have you!
But as long as you are here, you need to
learn how to talk to us? I wasn't aware
of anyone talking back here but if they
were it is none of your Goddamm business.
If you wanna work your mouth do it out
there but don't bring your bullshit back
here. Backstage is for dressing not for
bitching. The only thing worse than a
delusional drag queen is a delusional
transsexual. That's it I'm done! I have
nothing more to say. Do you?
(pause)
Have a nice night. See you tomorrow.
SCENE: ROY AND LINDA'S APT-NYC-6:30 P.M.
Linda is home alone with her new purchases looking in mirror.
Roy comes home from the office. He sees all the purchases and
is disturbed.
ROY
Jesus Christ, how much money did you
spend today
LINDA
Don't worry about it.
ROY
I do worry about it.
LINDA
Well don't, were rich.
ROY
We're well off, we're not rich.
LINDA
Anyone who makes more than 200,000 a year
is considered rich.
ROY
According to who?
LINDA
According to the government. Poverty is
anyone who makes less than 12,000 a year
and rich is anything over 200,00. So you
know what that means? That means that we
are very, very, very rich
ROY
But the government takes a third so were
only very very rich
LINDA
We're rich Roy, for Gods sake, why can't
you just enjoy it? Jesus Christ! All
you do is worry.
ROY
Its my job to worry.
LINDA
No, its your job to make money. So go
make us some more money, and leave me the
fuck alone.
SCENE: DOLORES ALEXENDERS' APARTMENT-HARLEM-1979-3 A.M.
DOLORES
Joey, I'm home.
(pause)
Joey?
(pause)
Joey?
Dolores sits and waits alone in her apt. Finally the door
opens and Joey enters, he shuts the door and stands there
still.
DOLORES (cont'd)
Its 3 AM Joey.
JOEY
Yeah?
DOLORES
My show was over at eleven.
JOEY
I know, I was...
DOLORES
I waited at the club till midnight and
finally when you didn't show up I took a
cab and I've been sitting here waiting
ever since...
JOEY
I told you not to wait for me.
DOLORES
What you told me was that you'd pick me
up at eleven and we'd go out to...
JOEY
Yeah but you know if I'm a half an hour
late you should go on without me.
DOLORES
Joey please.
JOEY
You shouldn't have waited.
DOLORES
You should grow up.
JOEY
I'm sorry I was...
DOLORES
I'm sure you have some fabulous excuse.
JOEY
I do.
DOLORES
And I don't care.
JOEY
Honey.
DOLORES
Don't touch me, please.
JOEY
Baby.
DOLORES
I said don't touch me.
JOEY
Listen.
DOLORES
No you listen, I'm really tired of your
bullshit, Joey. I'm tired of your lame
excuses.
JOEY
Can I talk?
DOLORES
All you ever do is talk but you never say
anything and I'm through listening to it.
I'm doing the talking tonight.
JOEY
I promise it won't happen again.
DOLORES
You're right, it won't happen again
because tomorrow you won't be here.
JOEY
Where will I be?
DOLORES
You won't be around to bother me anymore
that's for damn sure.
JOEY
Dolores!
DOLORES
If I was a man I'd kick your teeth in.
(Pause)
Did you bring me anything to eat.
JOEY
Sweet and sour pork.
DOLORES
From where?
JOEY
Around the corner.
DOLORES
Which one?
JOEY
That Chinese place around the corner.
DOLORES
Which one Joey?
JOEY
Ming Palace.
DOLORES
Fuck you.
JOEY
I'm sorry.
DOLORES
You know I hate their food.
JOEY
It was the only one open.
DOLORES
I hate their sweet and sour.
JOEY
I'm sorry.
DOLORES
You know I hate their food.
JOEY
Fung Thai was closed.
DOLORES
Fuck you.
JOEY
It was closed. What was I supposed to do?
DOLORES
Fung Thai's open till 1. If you'd picked
me up at 11 we could have made it.
JOEY
I'm sorry.
DOLORES
I'm starving Joey.
JOEY
I'm sorry.
DOLORES
You try performing with Suzette.
JOEY
I know.
DOLORES
I have to put up with her bullshit all
night and what do I get?
(No answer)
Second rate sweet and sour from Ming
fucking Palace. Fuck you Joey.
JOEY
I'm sorry.
DOLORES
You're a total waste of time. You know
that?
(No answer)
Say yes.
JOEY
Yes.
DOLORES
A complete and total waste of time.
JOEY
I'm sorry.
DOLORES
How many times have I told you I hate
Ming Palace?
JOEY
I know.
DOLORES
How many times?
JOEY
I know.
DOLORES
And what do you bring me?
JOEY
I said I was sorry.
DOLORES
What language do I need to speak to be
heard by you?
JOEY
I won't get their food again.
DOLORES
Go heat it up and put a lot of Teriyaki
on it.
JOEY
You got it.
He goes off in to the kitchen. She sits and broods.
SCENE: JACK WAKES UP AND TRIES TO WRITE
Jack comes out. Naked. Just waking up. He goes off-stage
to the bathroom. We hear him peeing. He goes to his front
door. Gets the newspaper. Stands and reads the front page.
Starts his laptop. Watches it start up. Goes and gets a
can of coke, opens it and drinks it. Sits down. Starts to
type. Can't think of anything. Stares. Goes and gets
another can of coke. Tries to write some more. Can't
think of anything. Then goes off to get breakfast. Comes
back with cereal in a bowl. Eats it. There is a knock at
the door. It is Roy. They talk at the door and eventually
Jack lets him in and Jack puts on a robe.
ROY
Can I come in?
JACK
No.
ROY
Please.
JACK
What are you doing here?
ROY
What are you doing?
JACK
Eating breakfast.
ROY
Why?
JACK
Because it's morning.
ROY
Its 1 PM.
JACK
It feels like morning to me.
ROY
You should be writing.
JACK
I'm eating.
ROY
Well stop eating and start writing.
JACK
Roy, what did I say about pressure. I
don't respond to pressure.
ROY
Yeah well I don't respond to poverty.
Even if you started a second book.
That's if. Even if you started a second
book tomorrow it wouldn't be on the
shelves for a year.
JACK
I can't think of anything to write about.
ROY
Jack, I have a very expensive mortgage,
and a very expensive wife and I love you
but I also love my job. We gave you an
advance of 2.5 million dollars over two
years ago. 2.5 million, Jack, 2.5 fucking
million dollars. It's not funny, Jack.
Six months and no first draft, I
understand. Fear of failure, fear of
success, writer's block, the sophomore
slump, whatever. Six months is fine.
But when it gets to a year and I don't
even have an outline, then I start to
worry and after 18 months I start to
think maybe I've been had. Maybe the
great literary find of 2002 is really
just a one book wonder. Maybe that's all
there is. Which would be fine except for
the small problem of a 2.5 million
advance that I issued you over 23 months
ago.
JACK
Are you done?
Roy leaves. Jack is alone. He shuts down the laptop. Goes
off.
SCENE: DOLORES APT.-SAME AS BEFORE-MOMENTS LATER
Joey brings the food out for Dolores. She begins to eat.
JOEY
How's your dinner?
She shoots him a look of total disdain.
DOLORES
Would you please go take a shower.
JOEY
What's wrong?
DOLORES
You smell.
JOEY
No I don't.
DOLORES
If you love me you'll take a shower.
JOEY
What do I get?
DOLORES
I'll give you a rub down.
JOEY
Promise?
DOLORES
Yes.
JOEY
You're not just saying that?
DOLORES
Would you please go take a shower before
I kill you?
JOEY
I love it when you're cruel.
DOLORES
Good. Now go before I throw up.
JOEY
You're a fucking bitch.
DOLORES
That's why you love me.
JOEY
Do you love me?
DOLORES
To death.
JOEY
Can I have a kiss?
DOLORES
After your shower.
JOEY
Don't go anywhere.
DOLORES
I live here, you're the one whose
leaving.
JOEY
You know you can't live without me.
DOLORES
Go take your shower.
JOEY
Dolores...
DOLORES
What.
JOEY
I'll never stand you up again.
DOLORES
You're right.
He heads for the shower.
DOLORES (CONT'D) (cont'd)
(under her breath)
Maybe I'll stand you up.
(pause)
Maybe I'll stand you up in the closet.
JOEY
What?
DOLORES
I said hurry up.
SCENE: ROY AND LINDA'S APT
LINDA
How was your meeting with Jack.
ROY
Not good.
LINDA
Is he writing?
ROY
No.
LINDA
Does he have any ideas for a second book?
ROY
No.
LINDA
What does he want to be a one hit wonder?
What's the name of that guy who wrote The
Garden of Good and Evil?
ROY
John Berendt.
LINDA
Does he wanna be the next John Berendt?
I think it's time to tell him about Lisa
Newell story.
ROY
I don't want to talk about her.
LINDA
Fear is good, Roy. Fear inspires people.
Scare him. Just a little bit.
SCENE: THE RUBDOWN
Dolores goes to get her "massage supplies". She lays out a
sheet and lights a candle. There is a bowl with some fresh
fruit and a knife. Joey comes in wearing only a towel. He is
still wet. He sees the romantic candles and assume they
represent a peace offering...
JOEY
OOOO, I guess I'm forgiven.
DOLORES
I don't think so.
JOEY
I'm all clean.
He kisses her.
DOLORES
You smell better.
JOEY
I scrubbed every inch.
DOLORES
How sweet.
JOEY
I'm ready for my rubdown.
DOLORES
You sure?
JOEY
(lying down)
Um hum.
DOLORES
Do you want some apple?
JOEY
Actually, do we have any candy?
DOLORES
No.
JOEY
I wanted candy.
DOLORES
Its not good for you. Eat some apple.
JOEY
No, I'm fine.
DOLORES
Okay, Pouty, what kind do you want.
JOEY
I want Snickers.
DOLORES
Hold on.
She goes to get him some candy then she comes back and gives
him the candy.
JOEY
Thank you.
She begins the oil rubdown.
DOLORES
I'm gonna miss you Joey.
JOEY
You're not really gonna kick me out.
DOLORES
I think it's time for you to move on.
JOEY
Oh God that feels good.
DOLORES
I want you to be happy on your last
night.
JOEY
I'm happy.
She continues to massage him.
JOEY (cont'd)
You're the one who's unhappy.
DOLORES
(After a long pause)
Joey, why are you such a loser?
JOEY
What?
DOLORES
Shhhh. Just tell me. Quietly.
JOEY
I'm not.
DOLORES
The more we're together the more I
realize what a useless person you are.
JOEY
Don't say that.
DOLORES
What good do you bring the world?
JOEY
What are you talking about?
DOLORES
How do you earn the space you take up?
What do you give back to the world? Why
should the world keep you around?
JOEY
Why are you being so mean to me?
DOLORES
I'm not being mean.
JOEY
You're being cruel.
DOLORES
Tell me.
JOEY
Knock it off.
Long silence.
DOLORES
Joey I love you, I do. I have never loved
anyone as much as I've loved you, but I
do believe that we have to face reality
and reality is not kind to you. Reality
reveals what a useless person you are.
JOEY
Dolores!
DOLORES
Don't raise your voice, you'll ruin the
mood.
JOEY
Are you listening to yourself.
DOLORES
Why are you shocked?
JOEY
You're being nasty.
DOLORES
Nasty is you Joey. Nasty is leaving me
standing on a corner for eighty minutes,
that's nasty Joey. That's disrespect.
Nothing I'm saying is cruel.
You mistake honesty for cruelty. You hurt
me but I'm not allowed to tell you about
it?
JOEY
I don't mean to hurt you.
DOLORES
I know you don't, but you do and that's
why your life is so futile. You have no
control you are completely unaware of the
people around you. You bounce through
life with no regard for who or what you
knock over. You don't help Harlem and
Harlem needs help. The world needs good
people and you are not a good person.
JOEY
Why are you saying this?
DOLORES
Why? You brought this on yourself. You
have hurt me so deeply so many times and
it means nothing to you.
JOEY
Because I was late.
DOLORES
Because you're always late. You will
always be late. You're a millennium
behind. You're Cro-Magnon. You never do
anything you say you'll do. I give you
everything. You need money I give it to
you. You need food I give it to you. You
come and go whenever you want. You say
you'll call, you don't. You say you'll
pick me up, you don't. You say you'll
come to my show, you don't. You wouldn't
have clothes if I didn't buy them. They
wouldn't be clean if I didn't clean them,
and I'm tired of it and everyone who
knows you is tired of it.
JOEY
Who?
DOLORES
Everyone. No one likes you.
JOEY
People like me.
DOLORES
Who?
JOEY
Gus likes me.
DOLORES
Gus likes you cause you share your drugs
with him. Drugs that I pay for, sit up.
JOEY
I have a lot of friends.
DOLORES
No you don't. People tolerate you but no
one cares about you. No one thinks about
you when you're not around, no one
admires you. Lean over.
He leans over so he is now sitting on his legs facing the
audience and when she says "lean over" he puts his face
toward the floor and his back is arched.
DOLORES (cont'd)
Can I be completely honest with you?
(Joey doesn't answer)
When you die no one will miss you. Don't
you think that's sad.
JOEY
You'll miss me.
DOLORES
Not much.
JOEY
Look at yourself Dolores, you're an
overweight half man, half woman, lip
synching freak. You didn't even have the
guts to cut your fucking dick off. You're
so damned deluded. You say no one cares
about me well no one cares about you
either. You think those fucking queens at
the Blue Rose give a shit about you.
You're just something freaky for them to
look at when they get drunk. You're a
free acid trip. They don't care about
you. They don't think about you when
you're not in the room and they won't
miss you when you're dead either. In fact
Suzette 'll probably be relieved because
then she'll have the spotlight all to
herself.
You won't get rid of me because I'm all
you have. No one would fuck you except me
and if you didn't have me then where
would you be, you fat piece of shit. You
don't want to need me that's true, but
you do, so shut the fuck up and keep
rubbing my back before I slap the shit
out of you.
They sit for a long time.
DOLORES
Joey?
JOEY
(Long pause)
What?
DOLORES
Fuck you.
She slits his throat! It should be shocking and gruesome but
clean. She holds him as his breath flows out. A music cue
plays as lights fade. As the music plays we see Dolores wrap
Joey up in the sheet he was laying in. She gets silver
electric tape and puts it around him. She then carries or
pulls him to a door/closet and puts him inside.
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