MAKING PORN
A NEW PLAY ABOUT THE GAY PORNO INDUSTRY
BY RONNIE LARSEN
SCENE BREAKDOWN
SCENE 1 TIE SCENE #1
SCENE 2 RAY AND RICKY IN BED
SCENE 3 JACK AUDITION #1 "YOUNG & HEALTHY"
SCENE 4 ART & JAMIE INTERVIEW RICKY FOR COPS
SCENE 5 RAY'S JACK OFF SHOW
SCENE 6 RICKY CALLS PARENTS
SCENE 7 JAMIE & RAY RECONCILE
SCENE 8 JAMIE TELLS ART HE GOT RAY
SCENE 9 HAMLET AUDITION
SCENE 10 JACK WANDERS IN
SCENE 11 TRYING ON SWEATS
SCENE 12 JACK TELLS LINDA HE GOT A JOB
SCENE 13 ART TELLS JAMIE ABOUT JACK AND SHOWS HIM THE POLAROIDS
SCENE 14 JAMIE & RICKY "YOU WERE GREAT"
SCENE 15 ART CALLS RAY
SCENE 16 JAMIE LEAVES RICKY'S
SCENE 17 JAMIE & ART FIGHT
SCENE 18 LINDA & JACK IN BED
SCENE 19 SATURDAY MORNING
SCENE 20 JAMIE TELLS RAY
SCENE 21 JACK TELLS LINDA
SCENE 22 WAITING FOR JACK
SCENE 23 "I'M GOING WITH YOU"
SCENE 24 JACK SHOWS UP WITH LINDA
ACT II
SCENE 25 "LOOK AT THESE REVIEWS"
SCENE 26 RICKY TAKES RAY TO DINNER
SCENE 27 JAMIE MOVES OUT LAST BOX
SCENE 28 JACK STRIPS
SCENE 29 JAMIE SHOWS RICKY HIS APT
SCENE 30 PHONE MADNESS
SCENE 31 RICKY TESTS POSITIVE
SCENE 32 "I GOT THE CONTRACT"
SCENE 33 TIE SCENE #2
SCENE 34 "AIDS IS RUINING MY BUSINESS"
SCENE 35 FLYING TO WISCONSIN
SCENE 36 LINDA PITCHES IDEA
SCENE 37 JAMIE CALLS RICKY'S PARENTS
SCENE 38 "WE HAD A VERY GOOD YEAR"
SCENE 39 JACK AT REHEARSAL
SCENE 40 JAMIE & RAY ON PHONE
1 SCENE 1: TIE SCENE #1
When the audience enters we see a bed center stage made from four rectangular blocks
pushed together covered by a white sheet and two pillows. Behind the bed is a free
standing door. There is a cluttered desk with a chair to the right and a small table with chair
to the left. Between the door and the stage left table stands a ladder . Against the left wall
is a table with a coffee maker, mugs, sugar etc. A long table stands against the upstage
right wall. It is covered with props, dildos, video equipment. The wall above it is plastered
with pictures of pornstars ripped from the pages of skin magazines. Lights go to black and
as they come back up we see Linda sitting on the edge of bed. Ricky and Ray are now in
the bed but completely covered by the sheet. Jack enters. As lights come up, there is a bed
on stage, Ray & Ricky are in it but we can't see them because they are under a white sheet.
Linda is sitting on edge of bed. Jack is looking for his audition tie. He can't find it
JACK
I'm gonna be fucked.
LINDA
Just wear a different one.
JACK
I need that one. It's my good luck tie.
LINDA
Well I'm sure it's here.
JACK
Did you throw it out?
LINDA
Why would I throw it out?
JACK
You didn't see it?
LINDA
I told you.
JACK
Did you send it to the cleaners?
LINDA
No.
JACK
You didn't loan it out did you?
LINDA
Who would I loan it out to?
JACK
Did you wear it?
LINDA
No.
JACK
Maybe you wore it to work and left it there.
LINDA
Why would I wear it to work?
JACK
Goddamnit.
LINDA
I'm sure it'll show up.
JACK
I need it now. I have an audition in two hours.
LINDA
Why is it lucky?
JACK
It's my lucky tie.
LINDA
Yeah, but when has it gotten you any work?
JACK
I feel lucky when I wear it. I feel like good things are gonna
happen when I wear it.
LINDA
Well maybe if you don't wear it something good really will
happen. Maybe it's a sign.
JACK
]A sign of what?
LINDA
A sign that... I don't know, just a sign.
JACK
Can you just help me please?
LINDA
Where do you want me to look?
JACK
Anywhere, just find it.
(He exits. She shakes her head and follows him off. As soon as Linda exits, Ray & Ricky
pop up and we're into the next scene.)
2 SCENE 2: RAY AND RICKY IN BED
Lights focus on bed. Ray lights a cigarette with a lighter.
RAY
So what's your name?
RICKY
Ricky.
RAY
Welcome to San Francisco.
RICKY
Thank you.
RAY
Where are you from?
RICKY
Bakersfield.
RAY
I went to Bakersfield once.
RICKY
Did you like it?
RAY
They have a cruisy park right?
RICKY
Beach Park.
RAY
Beach Park, that's it.
RICKY
I know it well.
RAY
You get around huh?
RICKY
I try.
RAY
I didn't think you were as innocent as you pretended to be.
RICKY
I'm a good actor.
RAY
I guess.
RICKY
And so are you.
RAY
Excuse me.
RICKY
I know who you are.
RAY
Who am I?
RICKY
Ray Tanner, star of Body Shop and other infamous pornos.
RAY
You got the wrong guy.
RICKY
Don't lie to me.
RAY
I'm not.
RICKY
My favorite scene is where you're in the classroom and you
fuck the teacher on his desk.
RAY
That's everybody's favorite scene.
RICKY
I'm so jealous.
RAY
Oh please.
RICKY
I love porn.
RAY
Here we go.
RICKY
I want to be in one.
RAY
Trust me, you don't
RICKY
When I was in High School I kept a journal and I wrote that
when I grow up I want to be in a porno and maybe go to
college.
RAY
You do not want to be in a porno.
RICKY
Why not?
RAY
Why would you want to be in a porno?
RICKY
It just seems exciting.
RAY
It's awful.
RICKY
It can't be all bad.
RAY
It gets old real fast
RICKY.
I didn't know you could even make a full time living from being
in porn.
RAY
Well it's not just porn you know, there's other stuff.
RICKY
Like what?
RAY
Appearances, layouts, hustling...
RICKY
But you hate it.
RAY
Basically.
RICKY
Well, next time you get offered a part you don't want, call me.
RAY
Listen, you're young. you're healthy, you seem happy, You
don't need to do porn.
RICKY
Oh come on, it's the perfect job for a gay man. You get paid
to pose and have sex.
RAY
The way you romanticize making porn is kind of charming but
trust me, you don't want to get into it. If you can do anything
else, and I'm sure you can, then do it because it's just not
what you think it is..
(Ray and Ricky exit, Jack comes down center stage and sings a capella. He is in a spotlight
and he is tie less)
3 SCENE 3 JACK AUDITION #1 "YOUNG & HEALTHY"
JACK
I'm young and
It would really be a sin, not to have you in my arms
If I could hate ya, I'd slip away
But that ain't my nature, I'm full of vitamin A, say.
I'm young and he
althy, and so are you
When the moon is in the sky tell me what am I to do?
(Offstage voice.) Thank you.
(Jack exits as lights come up to reveal Jamie and Arthur . Jamie moves around the office
trying to put things in order as Arthur stands and thinks.)
4 SCENE 4 ART & JAMIE INTERVIEW RICKY FOR COPS
ARTHUR
Actors are assholes, don't ever forget that.
JAMIE
He'll be here.
ARTHUR
I'm not interested in optimism today.
JAMIE
He'll be here.
ARTHUR
I hate actors.
JAMIE
You hate everyone.
ARTHUR
But I really hate actors.
JAMIE
He said he'd be here. He sounded sincere so let's give him
10 more minutes.
ARTHUR
He's bad news, I can smell it.
JAMIE
You haven't even met him yet.
ARTHUR
But I can tell he's gonna be trouble.
JAMIE
He'll be here.
RICKY
(frpm off-stage)
Hi, sorry I'm late!
Ricky runs on from upstage and bounds through the door.
ARTHUR
Ricky?
RICKY
Yeah.
ARTHUR
Hi, I'm Art
Art enthusiastically shakes Ricky's hand.
RICKY
Hi.
ARTHUR
Is everything OK?
RICKY
Yeah, I just got behind.
ARTHUR
No problem.
RICKY
I'm sorry if I inconvenienced you.
ARTHUR
Not at all.
RICKY
I'm usually on time.
ARTHUR
Honey, I'm just glad you're here. So, this is Jamie.
Art leads Ricky to Jamie who is downstage left by the desk.
RICKY
Hi.
ARTHUR
Jamie's my right hand man. He basically does everything.
RICKY
Nice to meet you.
Jamie & Ricky shake hands.
ARTHUR
He's also my husband, so hands off.
Ricky quickly pulls his hand away.
JAMIE
Art.
ARTHUR
I'm kidding. He's not my husband, he's my wife.
JAMIE
He's hilarious huh?
ARTHUR
So anyway, how do you know Ray?
(Art leads Ricky back to stage right. Ricky sits on the edge of the blocks and Arthur stands
over him.)
RICKY
Actually, we met outside Safeway.
ARTHUR
And you're a student at SF State?
RICKY
Yes.
And you've never made a porno before?
RICKY (CONT'D)
No.
ARTHUR
It's hard work.
RICKY
That's OK.
ARTHUR
It's long hours.
RICKY
I know.
ARTHUR
You're not gonna make much for your first film.
RICKY
That's OK.
ARTHUR
You won't make the kind of money Ray makes unless you're
around for awhile and you develop a following.
RICKY
That's OK.
ARTHUR
And if you say you'll show up and you don't I'll hunt you down
and break your legs.
RICKY
OK.
ARTHUR
Are you always so agreeable?
RICKY YES.
OK, let me see your dick.
(Ricky stands and takes out dick. Arthur looks for a moment and leads Ricky upstage center
and stands at his side observing his dick. Ricky is facing the door and we see him from
behind
Jamie, come look at this.
(Jamie comes to Ricky's other side and observes.)
He's got a nice dick huh?
JAMIE
It's hard not to notice.
RICKY
It's not that big when it's soft.
ARTHUR CAN YOU GET IT HARD FOR ME?
RICKY
Sure.
(Starts to jack off)
ARTHUR
Thanks. Is that as big as it gets?
RICKY
Not quite.
(Jacks off faster)
ARTHUR
He's got star quality huh? A star is born. You have a huge
dick.
RICKY
(Ricky lets go of his dick.)
That's about as big as it gets.
ARTHUR
What a difference. OK you can put it away.
RICKY
Thank you.
(He struggles to put his "erection" away.)
ARTHUR
OK. Be at 1024 Folsom on Saturday at ten a.m.. Be clean
and don't jack-off Thursday, Friday or Saturday.
(Arthur crosses to Jamie and gets a paper with the address which he hands to Ricky who has
followed him.)
RICKY
Do you need me any other times?
ARTHUR
I'm not sure yet.
Because I'm free.
ARTHUR (CONT'D)
I'm just not quite sure how I'm gonna use you.
RICKY
But you will use me?
ARTHUR
Definitely.
RICKY
Great.
ARTHUR
Now tell me, do you come a lot?
RICKY
What do you consider a lot?
ARTHUR
Well I need guys who can shoot long steady streams. I have
too many dribblers.
RICKY
Well, If I don't jack off for three days that shouldn't be a
problem.
ARTHUR
Great. OK, ten o'clock, 1024 Folsom, Saturday morning. And
I'll give you a check at the end of the day depending on how
many scenes you do.
RICKY
Is it possible to get paid in cash because I don't...
ARTHUR
My checks don't bounce.
RICKY
Uh, OK.
ARTHUR
So I'll see you Saturday.
RICKY
I'll be there.
ARTHUR
You better be.
(Ricky exits through the door.)
So what do you think?
JAMIE
Pretty big.
(During the following exchange Jamie empties the garbage cans, taking the trash off stage
and then returning to continue straightening up.)
ARTHUR
Great huh? I'm gonna use him as a cop.
JAMIE
I thought we needed a plumber type?
ARTHUR
He's not rough enough. We need someone rougher. More
blue collar.
JAMIE
Well I don't have anyone.
ARTHUR
Oh my God. You know who'd be perfect?
(Art crosses to the wall of porn pictures and takes photo of Ray Tanner off the wall.)
ATHUR
Who?
ARTHUR
Ray.
JAMIE
Tanner?
ARTHUR
Yeah.
JAMIE
I think he's still mad at us Arthur.
ARTHUR
Tell him to get over it.
JAMIE
Well, you didn't pay him for six months.
ARTHUR
He should be glad he got paid at all. Half of these queens
would do it for free.
JAMIE
Not Ray.
ARTHUR
Is he still doing those jack-off shows at the Campus Theatre?
JAMIE
Last time I heard.
ARTHUR
That's pathetic.
JAMIE
As opposed to the art we make?
ARTHUR
Don't start.
JAMIE
You don't make any sense.
ARTHUR
It's a lot better to be in a porno than in a jack-off show.
JAMIE
Why?
ARTHUR
It just is.
JAMIE
Why.
ARTHUR
Would you rather be in a play or a movie?
JAMIE
Neither.
ARTHUR
Well if you were an actor you'd rather be in a movie because
anyone can be in a play, but you have to be good to be in a
movie.
JAMIE
That's not true.
ARTHUR
When was the last time you went to a play?
JAMIE
I don't remember.
ARTHUR
Exactly. Nobody goes to plays anymore and nobody wants to
be in 'em. But movies are a lot different, they're exciting.
JAMIE
Are you saying doing a jack-off show is the same thing as
being in a play?
ARTHUR
Kind of.
JAMIE
How?
ARTHUR
Well there's a stage and an audience and lights.
JAMIE
There's no script.
ARTHUR
So it's more like improv. Whatever. The point is you can
make more money being in a jack-off show over a play and
you can make more money being in a porno over a jack-off
show and Ray is a greedy son of a bitch. So I need you to
go to the Campus Theater or whatever basement he's
dancing in and tell him that I really, really need him for Cops.
JAMIE
He's not gonna do it.
ARTHUR
Fine, tell him I'll pay him cash the morning of the shoot.
JAMIE
Where are you gonna get cash to pay him before the shoot?
ARTHUR
(Exploding, he throws a water bottle at Jamie narrowly missing him.)
Just tell him that. Goddammit Jamie. Does everything have
to be a fucking discussion. Can't we ever just do something.
Do we have to talk everything into the fucking ground?
ARTHUR (CONT'D)
Please don't condescend to me.
ARTHUR (CONT'D)
Oh my God.
(Arthur starts to exit.)
JAMIE
I'm trying to explain to you.
ARTHUR
(Turning back.)
I don't care about that. I care about getting Cops made. So
will you please go find him? Am I clear?
JAMIE
Yes.
ARTHUR
Thank you.
JAMIE
How much should I offer him?
ARTHUR
I don't care.
JAMIE
Well, like a ballpark.
ARTHUR
Can't you take initiative and negotiate? Find out what he
wants.
JAMIE
But what's your limit?
ARTHUR
I hate talking numbers.
JAMIE
I need a ballpark.
ARTHUR
Goddamnit Jamie, how long have we been making films
together?
JAMIE
Just give me a ballpark.
ARTHUR
How long huh?
JAMIE
You pay everyone differently, that's why I need to know what
you think. I know what I think, I need to know what you think
because I am not a fucking mind reader.
ARTHUR
You don't need to get testy.
JAMIE
No, I do because you're a total asshole
(Jamie grabs his bag crosses to the door.
ARTHUR
Jamie? Jamie?
JAMIE
(Exiting through the door).
Go fuck yourself Arthur.
(As the door closes, we hear the beginning of Girls on Film Lights fade to red and chaser
lights flash around the door..)
ARTHUR
Jamie.
(Arthur exits.)
5 SCENE 5 RAY'S JACK OFF SHOW
(We hear a voice over a loud speaker).
"We hope you're enjoying yourselves tonight. As always
we're proud to present San Francisco's finest, the very best in
live entertainment. Our next performer was most recently
seen in Hot Times At Reedmont High. Please welcome back
to our stage the one and only Ray Tanner."
(We hear very light scattered, unenthusiastic applause. Music continues as Ray enters
wearing a robe. He brings on a stool which he places on top of the blocks. He removes his
robe and sits on the stool facing upstage and begins to jack off. Right before he cums, Ricky
appears down stage right. A light comes up on him and Ray freezes ad the music stops.)
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