ACT 1
SCENE: THE PARTY
Lights come up on an empty room. All is silent. We hear
footsteps. Anita is coming home to her apartment. She is at
the front door. She unlocks the lock and enters. She turns
the lights on and out of nowhere all of her friends jump out
and scream...
ALL
Surprise!!!!
Music Cue - "Tell Me Why" Wynonna from "Tell Me Why"
Balloons are everywhere. Noise and laughter. Anita hugs
everyone at the party. They drink champagne...etc.
There is knock at the door. A female cop, Annie, is at the
door. Glory answers the door.
GLORY
Hi, can I help you?
ANNIE
Hi. I need to talk to the owner of the
house.
GLORY
One second. Anita!
Anita heads over to the door to talk to the cop.
ANITA
What's up?
ANNIE
Yes are you the owner of the house?
ANITA
Yes, officer, can I help you?
ANNIE
Yes I'm sorry, we have a problem with the
music.
ANITA
Oh, I'm sorry, is it too loud?
ANNIE
No...it's not loud enough!
The music blares and the female cop begins to strip. All the
women are shocked and laughing. At the end of the strip they
all sing Happy Birthday.
ANITA
Kim you did this didn't you? You are dead
tomorrow at work!
GLORY
You were great. Can I get you something
to drink? We have Organic Champagne? It's
really good.
ANNIE
That'd be great. Thanks.
BUD
Your so bold. Where did they find you?
ANNIE
I have an ad in the yellow pages.
ANITA
Only in San Francisco.
KIM
Well, it was very entertaining. Don't you
think Lois?
LOIS
I'm not sure what it was.
KIM
Oh, lighten up.
ANNIE
Thank you. It was fun. Women are always
so much more respectful. Last week I did
a bachelor party and the groom threw up
all over my tits.
LOIS
Too much information.
GLORY
So, is this your full time job?
ANNIE
Well among other things.
BUD
I always wondered what it'd be like to
strip. Danny and I use to go to
stripclubs. She loves all that stuff.
ANNIE
Is Danny your girlfriend?
BUD
Ex-girlfriend. It's a long story.
GLORY
A very long story. Not now. So, is this
your full-time job?
ANNIE
For now. I'm getting in to photography
but of course it doesn't pay the bills.
But, if any of you wanna have your
picture taken...if you're feeling brave.
It's really fun.
LOIS
Oh not me, thank you very much.
GLORY
Posing how? You mean naked? Oh my God.
BUD
I'd do it? Sign me up.
LOIS
Oh please, Bud.
BUD
What?
ANITA
Well, nobody'd want to see me, that's for
sure.
ANNIE
I would.
The room goes silent.
ANITA
You're just saying that because it's my
birthday.
ANNIE
No, I'm saying it because you're very
sexy.
(long pause, awkward silence)
Is there a bathroom?
ANITA
No, uh yes, uh, right down the hall.
GLORY
I'll show her.
KIM
"No, I'm saying that because you're very
sexy."
ANITA
Oh, stop it.
KIM
Love at first sight. I guess you won't be
needing that doll anymore. Do you mind if
I borrow her?
Kim picks up the doll.
LOIS
Kim!!!
KIM
Come on, Lois. We can have a threesome.
LOIS
Well, I hate to break up this very
interesting party, but we better get
going. I have to work in the morning.
KIM
Do we need to stay and clean-up?
ANITA
No, no, it's fine. Thanks for the party
Kim, I'm gonna kill you.
She walks them to the door.
LOIS
Bud, I hope to see you in class bright an
early tomorrow.
BUD
Bright and early Lois.
ANITA
Thanks for coming guys. I know you have a
long drive.
Lois and Kim exit. Glory re-enters.
BUD
Glory you want a ride?
GLORY
Are you going home?
BUD
Yeah.
GLORY
Oh great.
ANITA
When are you gonna get a car, Glory?
GLORY
Never. The pollution. Cars are evil. I
love public transportation.
ANITA
Yeah, Muni's great.
GLORY
Don't forget aerobics tomorrow. 12:00.
ANITA
I know. I know. Thanks for coming.
Annie emerges from the bathroom. There is a long awkward
pause.
ANNIE
You have a beautiful bathroom.
ANITA
Thank you. You have a beautiful...thank
you.
(beat)
So, what do you do, you know, for real?
ANNIE
What do you mean, for real?
ANITA
I mean, like, you can't make a living
from stripping at lesbian birthday
parties can you?
ANNIE
Well, that's just part of it.
ANITA
So, what else do you do, you know, during
the day?
ANNIE
I do this. What I did tonight. That's
what I do. Just different versions of it.
ANITA
What does that mean?
ANNIE
Well, I hate the word...but...what I
guess...what I am...is...a sex worker.
ANITA
You're a sex worker.
ANNIE
But I don't like that word.
ANITA
What word do you prefer?
ANNIE
Performance Artist?
ANITA
So, what exactly does a performance-
artist/sex-worker do?
ANNIE
Stripping. Dancing. Erotic Massage.
Layouts. Modeling. Porno.
ANITA
You do porno?
ANNIE
I don't do it. I've done it.
ANITA
You've done porno?
ANNIE
Some.
ANITA
How many?
ANNIE
70, maybe?
ANITA
70? No way!
ANNIE
Yes way.
ANITA
You're a porn star.
ANNIE
I'm an adult erotic video performer.
ANITA
You're a porn star!
ANNIE
I'm a porn star. Are you shocked?
ANITA
A little, yeah.
ANNIE
Why?
ANITA
I just...I don't know.
ANNIE
What?
ANITA
I just...I just...Oh I don't know, I
just...I don't know any porn stars.
ANNIE
Now you do.
ANITA
You don't seem like the porn star type.
ANNIE
What does the porn star type seem like?
ANITA
The stereotype, I guess.
ANNIE
Well, I am addicted to heroin, but other
than that...
ANITA
Are you really?
ANNIE
No, I was joking. It was a joke. I am not
addicted to heroin. I'm addicted to a lot
of things but heroin is not one of them.
ANITA
So what are you addicted to?
ANNIE
Shopping, shoes, chocolate, air
conditioning. You know that show,
Survivor, I'm addicted to that!
ANITA
Anything else?
ANNIE
Sex. With the right person, of course.
I'm addicted to life. I love experience.
I love new things. I want to have fun.
Aren't you addicted to anything?
ANITA
I don't have time for addictions.
ANNIE
Why what do you do?
ANITA
Oh, I'm an associate editor at the
Chronicle Book Review . It's very boring.
I argue with people all day.
ANNIE
You don't sound like you enjoy it?
ANITA
I'm over it!
ANNIE
So quit.
ANITA
You're very refreshing.
ANNIE
I'm done with porn. I'm moving on. I'm
getting into photography. What's stopping
you from moving on? Under contract?
ANITA
Yea, but I can quit if I want to.
ANNIE
So just quit. Just say, "I'm tired. I
work too hard. I'm killing myself. I need
a break. I'm quitting. Goodbye!" You
just do it.
ANITA
That is so Santa Cruz.
ANNIE
Oh, I love Santa Cruz. We should go
there, for a weekend.
ANITA
I don't even know you.
ANNIE
That's okay. Come on. Lets do it. Right
now.
ANITA
What?
ANNIE
Take a break. Go away. Relax. Lay down.
ANITA
What?
ANNIE
Lay down.
ANITA
Where?
ANNIE
Right here. Now. Lay down.
ANITA
Why?
ANNIE
Don't question everything. Just do it.
Lay down. We're going to go away.
ANITA
Where?
ANNIE
Just relax, you're the passenger. I'm
driving. Take your shirt off.
ANITA
I don't know about this.
ANNIE
Anita relax. Here.
Annie takes her shirt off.
ANNIE (cont'd)
Now, lay down.
She rubs her hands all over Anita back, Anita moans.
ANNIE (cont'd)
Close your eyes. Close them.
She rubs back more.
ANNIE (cont'd)
Relax. Don't think. Feel
She continues to rub.
ANITA
That feels so good.
ANNIE
When was the last time you had a full
body massage?
ANITA
Never.
ANNIE
Oh, come on.
ANITA
I never have.
ANNIE
Baby, baby...
ANITA
I've just been busy.
ANNIE
Your whole life?
They both laugh and settle.
ANITA
Oh, my god. You are so amazing.
ANNIE
Just relax.
ANITA
Did my friends pay you to do this?
ANNIE
No.
ANITA
Are you sure?
ANNIE
I'm off the clock. This isn't work, it's
play. In fact I think I'm enjoying this
more than you are.
ANITA
No, I'm really enjoying it.
They continue for a while in silence.
ANNIE
Roll over.
Anita does not move, frightened.
ANNIE (cont'd)
Anita? Roll over.
Anita finally does, she lays on her back and covers her
breasts with her hands.
ANNIE (cont'd)
Anita? Relax. You are so sexy. Relax.
Annie, moves Anita's hands away from her breasts and looks at
them. Long silence.
ANNIE (cont'd)
I want to kiss you.
Anita is silent.
ANNIE (cont'd)
Is that O.K.? Can I kiss you?
Anita is silent and nods enthusiastically, they kiss as the
lights dim.
SCENE: LOIS AND KIM AFTER THE PARTY
Lois and Kim are getting home from the party. Lois is holding
a coffee mug and a paper plate with a a pastry. Kim is
holding a balloon from the party. Lois goes to the desk and
checks her calender for the next day.
KIM
Why haven't we had sex in three years?
LOIS
Excuse me.
KIM
Why haven't we had sex in three years?
LOIS
It has not been three years.
KIM
2 years 8 months and 22 days?
LOIS
I'm going to bed.
KIM
Am I ugly? Be honest?
LOIS
Of course not.
KIM
Then what's wrong here?
LOIS
Kim, it's three in the morning. I need to
get some sleep.
KIM
Can I have a kiss good night. Please.
(long pause)
I need to be touched Lois.
Lois goes to her and kisses her dispassionately. Then Kim
tries to initiate sex.
LOIS
I have to work in the morning. I'm
sorry. I'm going to bed.
SCENE: BUD AND GLORY IN BUDS APT.
Bud and Glory enter right away with throw pillows...and sit
down...
GLORY
Bud, I want to be really honest with you.
I think you are a beautiful, beautiful
person. But I never understood what you
saw in her. You deserve so much better. I
used to hear you yelling from upstairs.
And it would break my heart. Danny was no
good for you. I thought you'd never break
up and when you did, I was so happy.
You'll get over her. You're gonna meet
some fabulous woman who's gonna treat you
right. And you'll see what a waste of
time Danny was. You know what you need?
BUD
What do I need?
GLORY
Tea. You need tea. I'm gonna run
downstairs. I'll be back in three
minutes. I'll make us some good herbal
tea. Take your shoes off. Get
comfortable. And turn the heat on. It's
freezing in here.
BUD
I can't afford the heating bill.
GLORY
Send the bill to me. I'll take care of
it. I'll be back in two minutes.
BUD
You're too good to me Glory.
GLORY
It's nothing.
Glory exits and Bud is left alone onstage thinking.
Music cue-Pump Up The Jam
SCENE: AEROBIC CLASS
As the music plays, one by one all the actresses enter and
begin stretching. As the first actress enters, Bud exits,
does a quick change off stage and re-enters for the class.
Once Glory enters the aerobic class begins. Musical aerobics
sequence.
GLORY
Add in cool down.
SCENE: ANITA GETS FLOWERS AT HER OFFICE
Anita walks in to her office, she is just coming back from
aerobics holding a duffel bag, she changes from aerobic shoes
into office shoes, she sees a bouquet of flowers on her desk.
She opens the card to the flowers, reads it, smiles, she
suspects they are from Annie, she goes to her phone and makes
a call. Annie appears answering the phone.
ANNIE
Hello.
ANITA
Hey Annie, it's me, Anita.
ANNIE
Hey, how was your lunch?
ANITA
What lunch?
ANNIE
Weren't you at lunch?
ANITA
No. I was at aerobics.
ANNIE
Your secretary said you were at lunch.
ANITA
That's what I tell him to say. I don't
want people knowing I do aerobics. It's
so East Bay. So listen, I got flowers
today...
ANNIE
You did?
ANITA
Yes, I did, and the card says from a
secret admirer, is that you by any
chance?
ANNIE
I have no idea what you're talking about.
ANITA
I don't believe you.
They laugh. Beat.
ANNIE
So, what are you doing now?
ANITA
I'm working.
ANNIE
How boring!
ANITA
I know.
ANNIE
Come over, leave early.
ANITA
I can't.
ANNIE
You know, I can still smell you from last
night.
ANITA
Come again? I mean excuse me?
ANNIE
Sit on the desk.
ANITA
Annie, not now, I'm working?
ANNIE
Anita, listen to me. Are you listening?
ANITA
Yes.
ANNIE
Sit...on...the desk.
ANITA
Annie?
ANNIE
Right now.
(she does)
Did you do it?
ANITA
Yes.
ANNIE
Spread your legs.
(she does)
Spread em wider.
ANITA
You're making me so wet.
ANNIE
Pull one of your legs up.
ANITA
Annie...
ANNIE
Do it. Now! Touch yourself.
(she does)
Are you touching yourself?
ANITA
Yes.
ANNIE
Are you?
ANITA
Yes.
ANNIE
Don't lie to me.
ANITA
I'm not.
ANNIE
Are you wet?
ANITA
Yes, very.
ANNIE
Straddle the desk and don't you dare drop
the phone, hear my voice, see my face.
God you look good. I've fantasized about
fucking you on your desk Ms. Executive.
Coming around from behind you when you
are on the phone. Lifting up your skirt,
you try to turn around but I don't let
you. Close your eyes and don't look back.
I bend you over the desk.
ANNIE (cont'd)
Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh My
God.
Kim enters and stands inside the door, shocked but can't look
away.
ANITA
Oh my God.
Anita sees Kim.
ANITA (cont'd)
OH MY GOD!!!
Kim runs out.
ANITA (cont'd)
(frantic)
Somebody just walked in! Listen, I gotta
go! Oh My God! I'll call you later!!!
Kim, Kim, Kim...
She opens the door to reveal Kim standing in the doorway
shocked.
ANITA (cont'd)
Kim, honestly, how much did you see?
KIM
You're such a slut!
Anita slams door on Kim, Kim re-opens it.
KIM (CONT'D) (cont'd)
I am so jealous.
Again, Anita slams door on Kim, Kim re-opens it.
KIM (CONT'D) (cont'd)
So who was on the phone?
ANITA
It is none of your business.
KIM
Well, you looked hot on your desk.
ANITA
Shit up Kim.
KIM
Was it one of those 900 lines?
ANITA
Oh, God no.
KIM
I had no idea you were into that..
ANITA
Okay, do you promise not to tell?
KIM
Anita, I'm your best friend. I'll tell
everyone.
ANITA
It was the stripper.
KIM
You lost me.
ANITA
The stripper. From last night. She
stayed at the house. She stayed all
night. She sent me flowers. That was
her on the phone. We have a date for
tonight. She really likes me. Say
something.
(pause)
Well, you hired her.
KIM
Just to dance. Not to spend the night
with you.
ANITA
It was wonderful.
KIM
She spent the night?
ANITA
Yes.
KIM
All night?
ANITA
Breakfast too.
KIM
Are you crazy? You spent the night with
a prostitute.
ANITA
Oh, Kim, it's not like that.
KIM
She's an escort Anita. Wake up. I found
her in the yellow pages.
ANITA
She didn't charge me.
KIM
She's still a hooker. She's a walking
petri dish.
Annie and Bud enter and start getting ready for the photo
shoot.
ANITA
Kim don't say that..
KIM
Anita. You deserve some fun. God knows
at least one of us does. But I thought
you wanted a wife, Anita. I thought you
wanted a ring. You always talk about what
it means to you. What that would mean to
you getting a ring. What that would
represent. Something unbroken; something
unending; something whole.
ANITA
I do want all that
KIM
But you don't find a wife in a brothel.
You don't go shopping for a Mercedes at a
Toyota dealership.
ANITA
She's not a Toyota?
KIM
No shes a taxi. She'll give anybody a
ride. Shes a city bus. You can't date a
hooker.
[
top
| next
]
Script created with Final Draft by Final Draft, Inc.