NOTE: TWO DEAD CLOWNS is not a one man show. Act 1 is about John Wayne Gacy and Act 2 is about the life of Divine. One actor plays both parts but there are other characters in both plays. The play is not just two long monolgues though it may seem that way from reading the below excerpts. Enjoy!
JOHN WAYNE GACY
How did Mojo die? Read the coroners report. He suffocated with underwear in his throat. That’s a fact. I don’t dispute that. But listen to the facts. Mojo comes over, we start messing around but he’s being too loud so what do I do? I hold his underwear over his mouth. Now why do I do that? Because he’s being too loud. I gotta shut him up or the cops’ll be coming by. And I even said that to him I said,”Mojo you want the cops to come by,” and he said, “no”, but he kept getting too loud so I put his underwear over his mouth to muffle him. I wasn’t trying to kill him, I just want him quiet. So what does he do? He opens his mouth too wide and the underwear slips in. He inhaled the fucking underwear and they covered his windpipe and he starts to suffocate but I’m behind him right so I don’t see any of this and my hands still over his mouth but I don’t realize he’s choking to death. And I guess he starts swallowing them or something because next thing I know his body goes limp. So yes he died in my house, I don't dispute that. But then I read in the paper that I “shoved” underwear down his throat. I “shoved” underwear down his throat. How would I even do that. I got big hands. I got big fingers. I got cigar fingers. They wouldn’t even fit in Mojo's mouth. Mojo had a small mouth. But when you read in the paper that I shoved underwear down some poor guys throat well that sounds sick. It makes me sound like a sicko. I’d hate me too if I did something like that but its not what I did. I didn’t “shove” underwear down Mojos' throat. I just wanted him to be quiet. I covered his mouth like a mother in a church trying to keep her daughter quiet during prayer. I didn't want Ben from next door calling the cops on us. I was still on parole from my sodomy conviction. So I tried to keep him quiet. I put them over his mouth and he did the rest, he inhaled them, he swallowed them, he choked himself to death. Now is that premeditated murder or is it suicide? Clearly it’s suicide. But the courts don’t care. Maybe it’s involuntary manslaughter, maybe. I’d plead guilty to involuntary manslaughter, no problem, but not murder. I’m sitting on death row for murder. No way was it murder. And it certainly weren’t premeditated. So why am I charged with premeditated murder? If you want to spend 12 hours I can go through each case one by one and you’ll see that it’s not what you think. You’d see the mitigating circumstances. If you’re interested in the other side of the story, the true side, then we should keep going but if you’re just gonna shine me on and write me off then I’ll shut up right now because I don’t need to waste my breath. Sado-masochism is not murder. It’s sex. Maybe we didn’t do it right but that doesn’t make me a murderer. I’m a friend of Jimmy Carter.
I can’t talk right now. I have a weak heart.
(He sits in silence.)